At Large ...

• A lead item that begs for a dirty pun
  A woman crushes a watermelon with her breasts. Really.
  TMZ
  
  
  Mars rovers still ticking.
  CNN
  
  The movie "Eagle Eye" in 60 seconds.
  Best Week Ever
  
  
  Benazir Bhutto's daughter is a rapper.
  Yahoo!
  
  
  Fox News security expert is a crook.
  Newshounds
  
  
  A teenager with taste.
  Foodie at Fifteen
  
  
  Hackers find Twitter.
  Ars Technica
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• Barack, the magic (tax-cutting) black guy
  

  The week begins with great news for fan boys and even better news for the parents in whose basements the fan boys live.

• Stay stupid, my friends
  

  If you want to start 2009 out on the wrong foot, you'll wantto be uninformed.
  

  
  

  The best way to do that is to monitor Web sites ofMass Idiocy. I've compiled a list of a few of them for you. Check in onthese bastions of fear-mongering and overreaction if you want to knowwhat scurrilous emails will be forwarded to you in the coming months...

  
  
  World Net Daily: It'slike the World Weekly News for people who use Reynolds Wrap as afashion accessory.
  
  Mixing non-news, overreaction and cheesy ad pitchesdisguised as stories, this site appeals to people tooafraid to smile for fear it will show weakness to our enemies. And by "enemies," I mean "anyone who isn't them."
  
  Today'sheadlines include:
  
  • Defenders of family now in 'gay' bull's-eye / Licensing proposal could require lawyers to endorse homosexuality
  
  • WorldNetDaily Exclusive!  SECRETS OF THE LEFT / The bizarre worldview and brilliant tactics of today's radicals
  
  • SPECIAL OFFERS! Get inside the terrorists' minds / A daring young reporter schmoozes most dangerous groups in the world
  
  
  Investors Business Daily:This publication has proven to have a hold on its loyal readers, but atenuous grasp on reality. This best example of this is the "ScienceFiction Section," er, I mean "Editorials and Analysis" section." Here, people who see communists in their sock drawer every morning analyze the news of the day with the sort of nuance and understatement normally reserved for a "Speed Racer" subplot.
  
  A Sept. 19 IBD editorial called the 1999Gramm-Leach-Bliley bill deregulating the financial business -- you know,the law everyone now blames for near collapse of the global economy -- a good idea. A few days earlier, the Mensas at IBD blamed President Clintonfor the meltdown in an article riddled with factual errors and awash inthe sort of ignorance normally reserved for reality courtroom show washouts."Investment Analyst," one of my commentators, took it apart in a few simple, straight-forward paragraphs.
  
  Today, there's an editorial with nine predictions for 2009 in which IBD pats itself on the back for nailing it with their 2008 predictions.
  
  Really? Read that 2008 prediction piece.Two of the predictions are  horoscope-like in their ambiguity -- HugoChavez will wear thin and Cuba is going to get worse.  You wouldn't have to be the Amazing Kreskin to offer those up.
  
  And several ofthem as just flat out wrong -- the consensus on global warming isn'tweakening; President Bush isn't leaving with a great legacy; Russiadidn't reignite the Cold War with oil money; and the economy didn'trecover in the third quarter.
  
  Consider all of that when you weigh their investment advice.
  
  
  Newsmax: WhileWND appeals to the clearly insane, this site lulls the unsuspectingconservative to sleep with stories that make mainstream outlets, too.
  
  Of course, for every real story, there are stories like the one about Hillary Clinton refusing to meet with the Gold Star Mothers Club, an organization for mothers of deceased service men and women. It was a lie. And Newsmax has been the prime source for "information" about the Sasquatch-like existence of an imaginary movement toward a non-existent North American Union, as wel as the equally make-believe "Ameros" currency of this fake NAU.
  
  Right now, the "latest news" on Newsmax is huge: "Hot New Sarah Palin Calendar Released."
  
  If you have your own wacky news source, please share it in the comments. ("At Large," while wacky, doesn't qualify.)
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• You scream, I scream, we all scream for a Wii
  The first video star of 2009 is a screaming kid who opened his Christmas gifts and got his beloved Wii. The family thought it was so cool, they put it on YouTube.